Will You Put Salmon Sperm on Your Face?

We'll talk about the name later, first let's be honest. We have put worse things on our faces.

Vodka-soaked tissues after breakups. That one night you passed out on a stranger’s couch and woke up in what can only be described as “crusty regret.” A few bad tattoos. The occasional ex’s tears. Snail mucin that is surprisingly working wonders on the skin. But now, the latest thing sliding onto our skins is salmon sperm.

Let that sink in. Salmon. Sperm.

And before even flinch to the idea of it on your face or have flashback to year nine biology, here's what you should know: it's glorious.

But thankfully its not pure salmon sperm on your face if you're wondering, it's a new skincare serum that's swimming upstream straight into your grooming routine.

Derived from the milky essence of fish's loins (scientifically, DNA repair enzyme, we call it fish c**), salmon sperm is now the haute elixir your face didn't know it needed- even if you are a die-hard pescatarians. So, how has it suddenly dawned upon us that this skin repair enzyme from a trout has anti-ageing, skin repair properties that actually work for us?

The hands of the compass direct us to South Korea. Dermatologists in the land of morning calm have been bottling it for a while, and somewhere between the K-pop and 3-step routines, we have the trout swimming.

If you are too eager to know the answer to whether this "extraction" in the form of a serum works for you, we can help. Imagine- you’re standing in the mirror, bleary-eyed, morning stubble like a failed Banksy mural. Your skin’s dry. Tired from too much work and not enough sleep. You reach for your moisturiser — something safe, vanilla, blandly scented like cucumber and compromise.

But what if, instead, you reached for something... thrilling? Something pearlescent and slippery. Something harvested delicately from the testes of the noblest fish in the fjord? (Sorry, we have tried putting it gently.)

It sounds absurd. Actually, it is absurd but I suppose you are a little used to it since we have had a list of weird sounding, sourcing names of skincare miracles- snail mucin, bee venom, vampire facials- so, salmon sperm doesn't even feel quiet so scandalous.

Inevitable? Certainly. The omega-rich, DNA-repairing, collagen-boosting holy grail of skincare right now is salmon sperm. Oh, I mean, PDRN (polydeoxyribonucleotide), an extraction from salmon milt that is clinically proven to speed up tissue regeneration.

In Korea, they inject it directly into faces. Over here, we're rubbing it in with reverent palms like it's some holy water from Ganges. The serum is supposed to help your skin heal, hydrate, and supple and ever so, radiant.

A review dated 2024 suggested that the use of polynucleotides in asethetic medicine found that some studies demonstrated "significant improvements in skin elasticity and hydration" while other studies studies have reported "limited or no benefits."

According to researchers and skin surgeons, the nucleotides in salmon DNA are similar enough to humans' that they are generally well tolerated by the body and don't cause an inflammatory reaction.

While people are getting jabs in the USA, in India, we have salmon sperm serum available to pampers our skin with richness of omega and glass-like finish. Your favourite Hollywood actresses including Miley Cyrus, Jennifer Aniston, and Kim Kardashian have tried it and look at their flawless skins post their skincare therapy that includes salmon sperm facial.

But let's not lie- the initial image is a tough swallow. Even reading on salmon sperm serum might feel like a dare. Your mates might even take the piss, saying you've got what on your face bro? as they burst through fits of laughter and a bit of envy, to be honest, because your forehead suddenly looks like it's been retouched in real life. Literally, moisturerised by marine power.

In case, you're also wondering what PETA has to say about this, funny enough- they made a meme about it. So, will you dare salmon sperm on your face or stick to the snail mucin as your moisturiser?