OF ALL THE THINGS I TREASURE, A WOOLLEN sleeveless jacket sits near the top. I got it from my parents’ home in Lucknow after my beloved father’s passing a few years ago.
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It is a beige jacket, now faded in colour. The zipper on the front is pale green. Either my grandfather or my father would have gotten it replaced at some point. But I try to use the zipper very delicately now, so I don’t have to replace it, thereby changing the jacket in any way. I don’t want my impression on it. I don’t want to add anything to it, nor do I want to remove anything from it.
To me, it is akin to a piece of art. And can anyone ever truly claim ownership of another person’s art? No matter how you acquire it, or for how much money, ultimately, it bears only the artist’s signature. Like [poet Rainer Maria] Rilke’s book will always remain Rilke’s; a [Francis] Bacon painting carries his impression into the world. And this jacket, no matter how much I wear it, will always be my father’s.

I truly think the jacket has a personality of its own. I see a lot of my father in it, because I remember him wearing it so often.
Now I try to wear it as often as I can in the winters, rather than keeping it hidden in the wardrobe. It has life. It is not just an object. It needs sun, wind and skin. That’s how I care for it. Maybe that’s how they cared for it too.
For the longest time, I thought that it was designed by my father. He used to design his own clothes and get them stitched by a local tailor. But recently, I was speaking with my mother when this jacket came up in the discussion, and she mentioned that it was actually my great-grandfather’s, which was passed down to my grandfather, and then to my father. Now I am the proud caretaker of it.
Having spent quality time with all three men at different stages of my life, and now having fully accepted their demise, whenever I am wearing this jacket, I feel like they’re smiling. At least one of them, if not all three. I am assuming they have better things to do.
As told to SAURAV BHANOT
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