How To Keep The Spark Alive In A Long-Term Relationship

While staying together for the long haul is what every couple intends to do, unfortunately, it takes a lot more than intent to make it happen. Infidelity is one thing; every relationship battles a million other challenges on the road to ‘forever and ever’.

When you’ve been with someone for a long while, everything starts to feel familiar. Comforting, even. Like a pattern. You know what they like and what they don’t. From the foods they eat to their favourite colour. You can predict their mood and their reactions. Your relationship begins to tread along a predictable path, and you find a certain sense of peace in knowing what’s to come.

It’s all good in the relationship hood, until of course, you start feeling like something’s missing. Because when have human beings been okay with something that’s ceased to be unpredictable and exciting?

The thing with human relationships is that most of us tend to fall into a pattern with them. Once things have stabilised and we’re sure there shall be no choppy waters ahead, we start to ease out on our efforts, preferring instead to let routines take over our lives and our relationship.

And somewhere between those routines, our relationship loses its spark. It doesn’t go sour, sure, but it also fails to stir up a strong sense of excitement. It’s at this crucial juncture that we start to feel something amiss and end up straying.

But what if instead of infidelity we chose to bring back the spark in our long-term relationship instead? It’s not too hard. Nor does it warrant too much effort. All you need is to want to do it, and then, actually do it.

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Here are 5 things you could do to bring back the spark in your long-term relationship:

Date Nights Often Enough

One of the first things most couples do after their relationship has gone past a few months is end ‘date nights’. As life and all its mundanities take over, we start to look at the ritual of getting dressed and going out as unimportant, choosing to focus on enjoying each other’s company within the confines of our homes instead. While that joy, the one we find in those small everyday moments is incomparable, yes, it’s equally important to not let go of that ‘high’ of the first few weeks of dating.

Dressing up and going out for a meal once a week/month not only allows you to escape your current reality (the home and chores you share) but also presents an opportunity for you to make an effort for your significant other. That effort (of getting ready) not only suggests you care to treat and pamper your partner but also hints at your instinct of wanting to look good for them.

Don’t Reduce Physical Intimacy

Sex is an extremely important part of any relationship. After all, it’s the only thing you do just with your partner. Nothing else builds intimacy between a couple better than love making. But unfortunately, over a period of time, the same body and the same sexual routine tends to feel boring to most people. Which is a fair thing because how can anyone be expected to stay passionate for the same thing over and over again, right?

Hence the need to revamp your private life. Try doing things differently or do different things. Explore different sexual positions, yes, but also indulge in different kinds of foreplay and flirtation. A soak in the bathtub together can lead to wonderful things in the bedroom. So can a glass of wine after dinner. Most importantly, ensure you’re getting intimate with your partner often enough and don’t let hectic work schedules come in the way. If something is feeling boring, the solution is to spice things instead of giving it up altogether.

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Plan Frequent Surprises

When was the last time you made your partner smile on a random day? Or vice versa? As the relationship progresses, we start to take our partner’s love and affection for granted. As we should since that’s the hallmark of a secure, stable relationship. But who said all that stability has to come at the expense of surprises?

Send her flowers on a random day at work. Whip up a meal when she gets back home. Unplanned weekend getaways. Doing some chores that she was meant to do. It’s always those simple surprises that go a long way in ensuring your relationship doesn’t turn staid and boring as time progresses.

Words of Appreciation

When you can’t say it with actions, just use your words. Actually, use words in any case. Who doesn’t like to hear some compliments, especially from their significant other? Particularly when you’ve been together for long enough to ensure that all those lovely, love-filled lines have completely vanished from your conversations. Now, it’s all about discussing things, updating each other and planning your schedules. That’s when you know you’ve gone from partners to business partners, minus the profits, of course.

A random ‘you’re looking good today’, a text thanking them for something or a heart-shaped emoticon for no reason in the middle of the day – it all works like a charm!

Do Things Together

You’re partners for a reason, right? I’m not saying start a entrepreneurial venture together, since I’m a firm believer of not mixing business with pleasure. But you can still take up a project for your home together, right? Or decide to redo the interiors of your living room as a joint venture? If nothing, just decide to cook one meal a day together?

Doing things together allows you to bond in a newer, more wholesome manner. And that’s precisely what couples who’ve been in a long-term relationship need. You’ve probably exhausted all other ways to spend together – this will allow you to rediscover each other's quirks and learn how the two of you have evolved both individually and in the relationship. As they say, don’t knock it till you’ve tried it!

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