Are Indians Now Accepting Age Gap Relationships?

What did you do for New Year’s Eve?

I know it’s been some time now but surely not enough for you to have moved on, I’m sure. Was it not a fun experience? Something you’d like to forget? Like those winter flings that fizzle out faster than the bubbles in the glass of champagne you were hopefully having while ringing in the new year.

I was in Goa with a group of friends. A few singles, a couple of couples. Some who’re happily taken; others about to become single again. The perfect composition of people when you’re looking for a few nights of harmless fun. Isn’t that what Goa is for?

Nihal can always be counted upon to kick start the party and keep it going. We’d just come back from dinner and were seated in the living area of our villa for a nightcap of sorts before retiring to our rooms. Though it wasn’t the time to start a conversation so potent, Nihal went ahead and did exactly that. “Do you think our society is now accepting of older women-younger men relationships?” he asked. Pointing fingers at someone, was he? Our group did have Shivani & Samit – he is 9 years younger while she’s a divorced mother of one. Naturally, she came in strong. “I don’t think any relationship requires anyone’s consent; nor should a couple be too concerned with society’s ‘approval’” she affirmed. But that wasn’t the point, and Nihal said so too. But like it always happens, the conversation veered elsewhere, we called it a night and that was that. 

I spent the next day thinking about it though. How many couples do I know with a similar gender situation? There’s my friend from college married to a younger man. Another whose second husband is a good decade younger. My colleague who has been dating someone younger for a few years now. Malaika Arora might’ve broken up with Arjun Kapoor but isn’t her new alleged beau even younger than him? More power to her and every other woman who is challenging archaic societal norms.

But has society learnt to accept it? Or is it quietly coping in a corner, waiting for the tide to turn?

Meeta smirked while sipping her coffee. We were sitting in this hot new cafe in town, frequently frequented by gorgeous couples much in love and lust. “Society is just learning to live with it – what can’t be cured has to be endured, right?” She’d never be anything but straight on such matters. “World over, women are claiming their rights, and that includes the right to love whomever they do. Society isn’t too pleased but can’t do much about it”. Banish them, I suppose? “To where?” I was convinced she was only half joking.

What about the men? In matters both medical and otherwise, it’s best advised to get a second opinion.

I joined Samit for a drink that a newly opened bar he was reviewing for a story. The thing about such scenarios is that libation is always in excess, ensuring the conversation flows smoother than the finest of whiskeys. Samit, as I had expected, was rather encouraging of this ‘trend’. “What’s age got to do with it? Shivani is an extraordinary woman, and I never even thought about our age gap!” he confidently put it. But one must have to think about that age gap when it comes to marriage? Even children? “We’ve talked about it. Who said natural conception is the only way to become a parent?” There are few occasions when Indian men have been able to surprise me – this was one such instance. I’ve been thinking about it since. Not Samit, per se. But heterosexual men in general. Have they truly come around? Maybe not in more conventional set-ups (for now) but certainly in more progressive parts of our cities? Or are the likes of Samit just a few shining aberrations and the real scenario isn’t that glorious? A lot to think about in the new year.

I’ll be curious to see if the tides turn. Can Indian men ignore the jibes of those around them and proudly be with a woman older than their years? If wishes were horses, beggars would ride. Or some such thing!