Dude, Start With Pilates. Right Now

I'll never forget the day I first entered that place. Wide eyed, gait confident, mindset raring to go. I walked in thinking it was going to be child’s play. You know that typical male arrogance: ‘Pilates? Isn’t that the thing women do while looking serene in coordinated workout sets, barely breaking a sweat?’

Wrong. It is possibly the most humbling workout a man can do. And if you think it’s not ‘manly’ enough, allow me to introduce you to its origin story—it was invented by a man, for men, during war. Joseph Pilates wasn’t sculpting abs in candlelit studios—he was helping broken soldiers get back on their feet. It was rehab-meets-hardcore-core-training, forged in a time when grit wasn’t a hashtag but sheer survival.

When a shall-remain-nameless friend suggested I try it out, I was certain I’ll find it both easy and unworkoutlike. I’d been doing yoga for almost 15 years. Heading to the gym (on off days, too). As a former dancer and badminton player (zonal champion, might I add), keeping fit was par for the course. How tough could it be, I had thought.

If only someone had told me.

During that first class, there were at least seven different occasions when I felt like crying and running away—no kidding. The pain I felt in my muscles was unlike anything else I had ever experienced. Hell, I didn’t even know I had muscles in some of those areas. And if you’re reading this and still wondering—yes, Pilates can be pretty hard. Harder than you could ever imagine. How do those Pilates girls do it? Their cores must be made of rock. Or maybe they’ve lost all feelings in their bodies. Are they not real human beings? Anyone who says Pilates is easy has never done it.

When that friend first told me he had started Pilates, he was starting his first-ever exercise programme. As someone who had just entered the latter half of his 30s, it was time he took his health seriously. When I crossed that milestone recently, he nudged me to do the same. I have had my fair share of injuries through the years, so hitting the gym with a vengeance wasn’t exactly my plan. It had to be a low-impact workout that would allow me to build strength and stamina while also working on my mobility and flexibility.

Not one to just give up, my friend kept insisting I give Pilates a shot. “I can’t tell how much it’s benefited me,” he’d say. I never noticed the aforementioned progress but agreed nevertheless, just to get him off my back.

There are many different ways Pilates will brutalise your body, torture your soul and if there’s any inner feelings and sensations left, kill them with ease.

You don't just do a pushup, you do it while also balancing your arms or toes (or both) on a moving Reformer or Bosu Ball. When you’re performing a lunge, it’s always while balancing yourself on one leg, while the other pushes the box that’s on top of the moving reformer.

There are dumbbells involved as well, but honestly, your arms are way too exhausted to care by that point. If it’s all sounding complex and convoluted, it is. You’re expected to engage your core, use your strength, ensure you’re well balanced and try not losing breath, at the same time. And this is just for one exercise—there's a full hour to get through. How the hell am I supposed to keep up?

And before I forget, during Pilates, you’ll also find yourself hanging upside down on the Cadillac and working out on the Wunda chair, my most-hated mortal enemy. Every single time I’m exercising in the studio, I’m making plans in my head to somehow let other people know that if they’re thinking Pilates is easy, they need to think again and never give it a try.

It’s been three months since I began my Pilates journey and I’m happy to report it hasn’t gotten any easier. I have gotten stronger, though. My balance has improved, too. I never knew I could hang upside down but turns out, I can—and I have. My body is healing from all those injuries and getting better. And the head rush from all those exercises? My skin has never had a better glow. Is Pilates actually working? Torturing myself thrice a week has led to something good. I’ll hate Pilates for as long as I’m alive. I can’t love it considering I’m sweating buckets and shrieking with pain every time I’m doing it. But I’m also not planning to stop doing it. It’s like those relationships they show in movies—can’t live with or without.

Not sure if I’ve made a convincing case for it but should you decide to go ahead with it, it won’t be easy. As my trainer says, it’s not supposed to be. After the class, you’ll go back feeling euphoric. Hate to say it but that devil is correct. I do. Every single time.

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