Even if you’re not a dad yet. Here’s a one-on-one... we mean 101
IF SOCIAL-MEDIA SHORT-FORMAT VIDEOS SAY ANYTHING ABOUT CULTURE, we’re living in a post-embarrassment, cringe-binge era. I remember the time my dad-joke apprentice friend tried something, and I replied with a picture of a dead antelope.
Because if a living buck is, a dead buck was. Buck-was. Bakwas—the Hindi word for nonsense. It’s the kind of joke where she groaned twice—once for the pun, then again when she realised I thought this through.
Awkward humour and a knowing affinity for lowbrow payoffs have always been relevant. Which is where the dad joke comes in.
It often gets a bad rap—the listener will crinkle their nose in feigned distaste even if at a core level they really do like the punchline. But the dad joke’s got power, son. A good one can precipitate a whole pail of puke. You risk everything and don’t give a shizz about being cool or subtle. Here’s a quick guide to weaponising cringe.
Don’t do it too much—every hour or so is a no-no. Let the stink settle before you even attempt a followup. But if you can handle groans turning into grunts, go ahead and attempt a salvo without wasting much time.
“My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. So we went out, had a few drinks—nice guy.” And now comes the coup de grace: “He’s a web designer.” Cementing that reputation is essential.
Wanna be the consummate dad joke exponent? Gain proficiency over puns. Join an improv class. “If you watch an Apple Store get robbed, does that make you an iWitness?” See? That slaps.
“Did you know Taylor Swift was named after Albert Einstein? Well, because she was born over a 100 years later.” Don’t let self-awareness stop you from indulging the impulse to cringe. Anyone can tell dad jokes, so don’t be dissuaded by the fear of becoming the tireless bore.
Just don’t make it your personality—nobody minds a few stinkers from someone who’s great at whipping up a meal or someone who is good with kids.
“The elephant asked the naked man, ‘How do you breathe through that tiny thing!’” Practise telling this with the Kevin James smirk, hands in your pockets. The dad joke is an inversion of masculinity and selfseriousness. Absolute turdplay. Don’t burden it with the expectation of smartness or wit.
The unpopularity you build for yourself purely with the level of groaners you can unleash, will have people dying from cringe twice— once from the anticipation and then from the impact. Why did Alexander the Great never say, ‘thank you’? Because he didn’t know English. Duh
