So You Want a Tattoo? Here’s What You Need To Know
A beginner's guide to getting your first tattoo
Let’s assume you’re not 19, drunk, and holding a tribal arm band stencil. Let’s also assume this isn’t a spontaneous Goa trip decision you’ll regret by the time your flight lands. I’m guessing you’ve thought about this. You’ve maybe even said, “I just want something small, you know, meaningful.”
Cool. Now here’s the part no one tells you: tattoos are deceptively simple. You think you’re choosing a design, but you’re actually making five different decisions—where, who, how, how much, and how forever. And if you get even one of those wrong, the “forever” part becomes… unfortunate.
Here’s what you actually need to know before you get inked—for real this time.
Don’t Start With the Design. Start With the Artist.
You wouldn’t walk into a Michelin-starred restaurant and demand a butter chicken just because you saw one on Pinterest. So don’t do that to a tattoo artist.
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Start by stalking. Instagram, healed tattoos, style consistency, line quality. You’re not looking for someone who can copy a design. You’re looking for someone who has a point of view. Traditional, minimal, blackwork, fine line, illustrative—there’s no one-size-fits-all. Figure out your aesthetic, then find someone who lives in that world.
And then, reach out to them. Discuss your ideas, maybe ask them to show you all the different ways they can design it.
If You Have to Explain It, Don’t Get It
Here’s the cold truth: the more symbolic your tattoo, the more likely it is to feel outdated in five years. That koi fish representing rebirth? That compass for “finding yourself”? We’ve seen it. Your tattoo shouldn’t need a TED Talk.
It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get something personal. But personal doesn’t mean obvious. The best tattoos work visually first—before they mean anything. Ask yourself: if I saw this on a stranger, would I like it? If the answer is no, maybe don’t get it on your own skin.
Also, please, you don’t need to get your dog’s birthday in Roman numerals or your mum’s face on your chest. And no, don’t get your girlfriend's name. Don't get something that you'll regret later on or something you'll need a monologue to explain.
Pain Is Real. Pain Is Relative. But Pain Isn’t the Point.
Yes, tattoos hurt. But not in some sexy, cinematic, sweat-dripping way. More like: repetitive cat scratch, somewhere between annoying and sharp, depending on where you get it.
If you’re pain-averse, avoid the spine, ribs, sternum, and inner elbows. Start with the outer arm, calf, or upper thigh. Also, size doesn’t equal pain. That “tiny” tattoo on your wrist might feel sharper than a palm-sized piece on your shoulder.
But don’t obsess. You’re not being waterboarded. People have done this mid-breakup, mid-divorce, mid-existential crisis. You’ll be fine.
No Artist Wants You Drunk, Sunburnt, or Fainting
Please don’t be the guy who shows up to your session hungover, empty-stomached, or after a CrossFit class. You need to respect the process, and frankly, the artist. Eat a proper meal. Hydrate. And please, for the love of god, skip the booze. And wear loose clothing that gives access to the area being tattooed.
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Think of your body like a canvas that heals. That canvas should not be inflamed, sweaty, or actively breaking down.
Also, don’t bring three friends for moral support. You’re getting inked, not delivering a TEDx talk. One friend max is okay for moral support.
Yes, Placement Matters—But Not for the Reasons You Think
It’s not just about hiding it from your parents or HR. Placement affects how the tattoo ages, how it warps when you move, and whether it still looks good when your skin isn’t, well, twenty-five.
Tattoos on stomachs, inner thighs, or biceps will stretch over time. Hands, necks, and faces fade faster and get you side-eye in corporate spaces. Ribs look great on Instagram but are a pain—literally and logistically.
If you’re unsure, the upper arm is your safest bet. It’s flattering, hides well, and gives enough room for the design to breathe.
Aftercare Isn’t Sexy. It’s Necessary.
Your new tattoo will ooze, scab, flake, and itch. That’s normal. It doesn’t mean it’s infected. It means your skin is doing its thing. What you shouldn’t do is scratch it, soak it, or tan with it. Don’t go to the gym for a few days. Don’t let your jeans rub the hell out of it. Listen to your artist, not Reddit. Wash it gently. Pat it dry. Moisturise with the stuff they recommend. Trust me—your future self will thank you.
Cheap Ink Is Expensive Regret
Tattoos aren’t bargains. They’re investments. A good artist won’t be cheap. A cheap artist won’t be good. If you’re not ready to spend real money on something that will live on your body forever, maybe wait.
Expect to pay for quality. Most artists are freelancers who pay for their own equipment, studio rent, and medical-grade supplies.
And no, you don’t get a discount for “just a small one.” Small doesn’t mean easy. It just means less room for mistakes.
Your First Won’t Be Your Last. Accept It.
No one gets just one tattoo. I didn't. That’s not how this works. Once you realise that you can change your body forever and still like yourself the next morning, it becomes… addictive. You’ll already be planning your second one on the metro ride home. The good news is though that you’ll make better choices the second time around.
Tattoos don’t need to be profound. But the decision to get one should be. You’re making a choice that’s equal parts art, biology, ego, and identity. That deserves some consideration.
So take your time. Choose well. And when you finally do it, own it—not just the ink, but the version of you that wanted it.
Because that’s the whole point, right? A tattoo doesn’t say who you are forever. It says who you were when you decided to mark the moment. And that’s enough.