Would You Cheat On Your Spouse For A Foot Fetish?

You know how you can feel another person’s energy even before they’ve walked into the room? He’s always been that person for me, and for everyone who’s known him in a close capacity. A friend of many years, he can always be counted upon to offer an advice for every occasion, with or without request. But that evening, he was the one seeking a few wise words from me. Isn’t it incredibly exciting when someone you (almost) look up to looks up to you for... well... help?

We met for a drink at one of Delhi’s coolest new places. I detest describe anything as cool but since this speakeasy prides itself on being one, why bother finding another adjective? Besides, a speakeasy isn’t novel anywhere anymore, so I guess the place can’t be expected to be creative. Wait, why am I going at it at the bar when there are much more interesting things to talk about?

He walked in with quite the swagger for someone who’s recently been dumped. His wife caught him with another woman. Twice. Why do some women forgive their cheating spouses? He’s done it once; he’ll do it again. I didn’t say it to him though – not like he didn’t know it already.

“That’s why it’s best to talk about your fetishes honestly and openly before you tie the knot,” he lamented. ‘Tie the knot’ - who even says that anymore? “If she knew about my foot fetish & was happy to indulge in it, maybe I wouldn’t have had to look elsewhere?” Was that his explanation for infidelity? “A man wants what he wants – how long can one supress their desires?” And here I thought that marriage meant the end of one’s desires at the altar of compatibility, compromise and cohabitation!

I knew I had to speak to his wife. Ex-wife, more like it. “As if married men have not strayed outside just because their wives are happy to support all their fetishes and desires!” I’m quoting her text verbatim here. You didn’t think she was willing to sit down with her (ex) spouse’s friend to discuss his sexual fantasies?

But Sameer isn’t the only one. At the time of writing this, I know of at least 10 other men who are either hiding their sexual fantasies from their wives or cheating on them to meet their ‘requirements’. You’d wonder why men simply wouldn’t own up to their kinks, right? I know men & I know they don’t know any better.

“Indian marriages are rarely, if ever, built on honesty and trust. Even love marriages where couples have been together for years before getting hitched are the same,” is how Sheela responded when I sat her down for a chat on men, marriages and managing their kinks. “Your friend did what all men do – hide, lie, cheat and then, reason, all in that order!” But is that reasoning worth a consideration? “It’s convenient and how. How can one extrapolate about a scenario that never happened?” Point taken.

It’s that classic hierarchy of kinks, isn’t it? You’d talk about a kink of, say, playing dress-up with your partner, sure, but not talk about wanting to be pegged by her (or any other woman) though. Because the former comes pop-culture approved and the other supposedly questions your manhood and sexuality? “I’m not sure I’ll be okay pegging my husband – though I do find the concept of a woman topping a man rather amusing!” Nayra was only half-joking about the latter part since a lot of women have admitted to wanting to do it but not finding it sexy enough for the effort. Men, on the other hand, immediately go in guards-up mode, unless of course it’s a fantasy they desperately crave.

The point remains that Sameer wouldn’t have felt the need to hide his kink if it were something... well... more generic in nature. He would’ve talked about it and his (now ex) wife would’ve probably been okay with it. He wouldn’t have had to cheat just to indulge his fantasies. Right? Wrong!

When have men needed a reason to cheat? But while we’re at it, do own up to your kinks, will you?