Challenging my own ideas about gender roles, relationships and the struggles of women in society has been both rewarding and transformative. This journey also helped me find my voice—making me a little more fearless and more willing to speak my truth. Laapataa Ladies became a channel for these reflections, allowing me to weave my personal experiences and observations into something meaningful. And I think I’ve become a little more fearless and more willing to speak my truth.
What I loved in the story was that it not only critiques patriarchy by showing how deeply ingrained gender roles are in society but also exposes the simple everyday struggles of women. The script highlighted how there are spaces for change within traditional family structures—the women in the story don’t passively accept their circumstances, and that, for me, is what makes the film so relevant to today’s conversation about gender equality.
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Just as we have two very different women at the centre of the story, we wanted to explore men who represent two ends of the spectrum. Both Deepak and Pradeep (Jaya’s husband) face a personal loss in one sense, but their reactions are diametrically different. Like women, men are shaped by their upbringing, society’s expectations and their own internal struggles—patriarchy affects them as much as it does women. Through this film, we saw an opportunity to present a broader range of male characters—empathetic men who are not often seen in cinema, like Gunjan (Jaya’s paramour), Chotu and the Station Master, and, of course, Deepak and Inspector Manohar. Creating a ‘green flag’ character like Deepak allowed us to present an alternative to the stereotypical ‘hero’ of popular cinema.
I feel very strongly that men are—and must needs be—allies in the journey towards gender equality, and there are so many men (and husbands!) who support women’s freedoms and self-expression.
After our divorce, Aamir asked me to tell him things about himself that I thought he could work on, and I think that really speaks volumes about how evolved he is as a person. I would rather not share my recommendations—they are too personal in nature, and I have forgotten most of them.
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I think it is very telling that I hardly recall what I wrote, but when it comes to relationships, sensitivity in men is deeply undervalued. Vulnerability isn’t a weakness—rather, it’s an immense strength. Both are essential to intimacy and connection—yet often overlooked or discouraged by society. In truth, they’re crucial for personal growth and stronger connections.
Over the years, I’ve learned that each of us is very different and complex, and every relationship will therefore come with its own challenges. I think my storytelling reflects this—I prefer my characters to be layered and nuanced, and they don’t fit into easily defined categories.
The journey of understanding one’s own needs and desires—and learning to navigate them within a partnership—is a lifelong process. There’s no single definition of a ‘good relationship’ or ‘good partner’; it’s about mutual respect, trust and the willingness to evolve together.
As told to Puja Talwar