A strange place on the internet, the manosphere, as they call it, is a tragedy for modern men's dating pool. If only more time for spent understanding your partner, understanding real masculinity, the feudal mentality skewing men today would not persist.
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Manosphere has men convinced that dating like the high-stakes poker game needs to be played to win like you have no heart. Filled with self-proclaimed alpha gurus in their three-piece suits, who paint women as gold diggers, that need dominated, manosphere injects the counter-narrative of modern masculinity.
Real, strong men don't express their emotions, don't let their dominance over women go, and enjoy abundant sex with women. It makes men believe that confident men keep their women in check. But little do they know the charm isn't in it at all. These men, who rose sometime between the fall of good manners and rise of the internet, have their warped rulebook of dating handy, skewing real masculinity.
A different shade of toxic masculinity, the manosphere has pick-up artists, incels and red pill men who tell the community that women respect power above romance. Of course, if you see every woman as your competitor, you will set yourself up for a lonely ride. Walking into a situation convinced that you need to win - well old sport you've already lost.
Why Manosphere Won't Get You Girlfriend
First off, charm is not a checklist. While men who are sucked into this wormhole thrive on the idea of dating being a battlefield for winning dominance, the harsh reality is these relationship ends up being a mere transaction.
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To think that women are algorithm that can be manipulated is a cave man mentality that won't ever get you girlfriend, let alone good friends. Real chemistry isn't built on power struggles, fake aloofness, or some outdated idea of "alpha" behaviour. It demands real effort, self-assurance, and genuine interest.
Frankly, no one wants to date a walking podcast script. If you think control makes you attract, sorry to burst your bubble old sport, all it will be a string of exhausted efforts. Real men don't think vulnerability makes them weak, rather it is empowering. What makes men attractive is the ease, depth and self-assurance that does not rely on constant need for validation from others. They have a sense of humour that isn't a self-defense mechanism but a way to connect with others and enjoy a good laugh alongside.
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Harsh Truth
While manosphere may help men to deal with heartbreak and emotional rejection to some extent by recontextualizing situations for them that have been cause of distress, anger and confusion. Exiting a space that thrives on us versus them mindset requires deep personal reflection and introspection. At face value, manopshere may seem like it's got your back, and guide lost men by sharing the "truths" about dating, masculinity, but in reality, it forces it members to conform to a perception of gender based on sexism and misogyny. It keeps men in a cycle of blame and anger.