A Guide To Being Single During the Holiday Season
Here's how to enjoy the holiday season without a plus-one
Unfortunately for us, Hallmark has taken over holiday season and dragged everyone under the illusion that you just have to be with someone during holiday season. Because oh dear god, all hell will break lose if you don’t kiss someone on New Year’s. Who’ll you exchange Christmas gifts with? And then before you know it, it’s Valentine’s Day. Oh lord, the blasphemy.
The holiday season has a funny way of rebranding perfectly functional men as unfinished projects. One minute you’re fine — busy, social, broadly content — and the next you’re standing in some aunty’s living room holding a drink, being asked variations of “So… are you seeing anyone?” as if your love life is a startup that’s failed to meet quarterly projections this year.
To make matters worse, you’re probably also in the thick of wedding season in India. Everyone around you is either getting married, getting engaged, discussing honeymoon destination options, or worse, is popping out kids. Hence, leaving you, in the arms of nosy mothers and fathers who think that being single is not a phase, a choice, or a neutral fact, but a problem requiring commentary.
You’re not miserable, exactly — but you’re suddenly expected to explain why you aren’t.
What’s more irritating isn’t loneliness itself. It’s the implication that you’re doing December wrong. That joy this time of year is conditional — on a plus-one, a plan, a performance.
So, let’s get practical. You need to stop dreading this season and start enjoying it. Yes, I will be telling you to “see the silver lining” and that “the grass is greener on the other side” – but, before you throw a stainless-steel pan at me, here’s a guide to help you through holiday season.
Firstly, Stop Treating “Single” Like An Apology
I get it. The pressure is real since everyone around you just can’t stop talking about the same thing. But the fastest way to ruin the holidays is to feel like you’re incomplete because you don’t have a partner. You need to stop behaving like you’re in a waiting room for your “real” life. As if everything – travel, celebration, partying – is a provision until a partner arrives to fulfil them all.
Yes, do look on the bright side for once: do you really want to be stuck in the logistics of whose family to visit, what party to attend, what to say and what not to say, or do something that you don’t want to but your partner does?
You have something couples don’t – optionality. Go take a damn solo trip to Sri Lanka and take surfing lessons. Or go for a rave till you’re kissing the floor at midnight. Just stop feeling like your life doesn’t matter till you find someone to kiss at midnight – New Year’s is highly overrated.
Refuse to Defend Your Life Choices Over Dessert
Seriously, you do not owe relatives, old friends, or someone’s overly curious partner a justification for where your life stands. Most of them aren’t malicious; they’re unimaginative. They struggle to picture happiness that doesn’t mirror their own.
A calm, unembellished “I’m good where I am” is more disarming than trying to defend your choices throughout the night. Change the subject. Ask them about their dog. Physically relocate to the snack table. If necessary, remind yourself of holidays spent bending yourself into shapes for relationships that didn’t deserve the effort. Perspective is a gift — use it.
Just let them know you won’t be entertaining the bullshit, and you’re good to go friend.
Reclaim the Calendar Like an Adult Man
As I mentioned earlier, one of the unspoken luxuries of being single is scheduling autonomy. No negotiations, no compromises disguised as generosity, no silent resentment.
If you can, travel. Solo trips during the holidays are deeply underrated — less crowded than expected, oddly introspective, and refreshingly selfish in the best way. Go somewhere you’ve postponed because it didn’t suit anyone else’s preferences.
If travel isn’t feasible, turn your city into a personal playground. Eat in parts of town you never bother with. Go catch up with old friends. Catch up with old movies, old hobbies – everything you’ve been waiting to do all year. This year, I went alone to a concert gig for the first time, and you know what? I absolutely loved it. Being alone in public is only awkward if you believe it should be.
Host Something — or Opt Out Without Guilt
If your city fills up during the holidays, consider hosting on your terms. Nothing elaborate. Good music, decent food, people you actually like.
And if you’re burned out, decline invitations. You are allowed to attend one dinner instead of five. You are allowed to leave early. You are allowed to say no without providing a personality essay.
Build Traditions That Make Sense for You
The biggest lie of the holidays is that tradition must be inherited. You’re allowed to create your own.
Maybe it’s a yearly solo trip. Maybe it’s a standing dinner with friends who also avoid family chaos. Maybe it’s a deliberate refusal to do anything at all. Traditions aren’t sacred because they’re old — they’re sacred because they’re chosen.
And if my TED Talk wasn’t enough, here are 10 tips to get you through holiday season.
Arrive late, leave early.
Always have an exit line prepared.
Never sit next to an aunty.
But if someone does recommend a girl, do at least give it a shot.
Do not download a dating app after 11 pm in December.
Do not text your ex. Please.
Book one thing just for yourself. Travel. Hike. Movie – anything.
Go buy yourself a present for a change.
Watch a shit ton of holiday movies.
Please stop doomscrolling through other people’s photos.
And finally, dear men, just enjoy the peace and quiet.