A few weeks ago, I spent two days in Venice with Arjun Kapoor. Flying from Mumbai, waiting around at airports, walking in the city between shoots, eating ridiculously good pasta, drinking great wine and talking about everything under the beautiful Italian sun. Somewhere in all those conversations, this interview slowly took shape. One thing that struck me almost immediately was how easy he is to travel with. For someone who’s been in the industry for nearly fifteen years, there’s very little drama around him. He isn’t trying to make every situation about himself. If anything, he’s doing the opposite. He’s checking whether his team has eaten, making sure his assistant has got through immigration, asking if everyone is ready before he worries about himself.
He’s also genuinely one of the funniest people I know. That doesn’t always come across in public because people often mistake his thoughtful nature for seriousness. Spend a couple of days with him and you’ll realise how quick he is with a joke, how much he loves films, and how curious he is about people. One of my favourite conversations was about turning forty. Arjun has just entered that decade; I’m not too far behind. We spoke about how your priorities shift, what success begins to mean, the mistakes you stop apologising for, and the freedom that slowly comes with age. It wasn’t an interview conversation. It was simply two men talking.
Even after our work in Venice was done, Arjun stayed back. He told me one of his favourite things to do while travelling is to simply sit at a café and watch people go by. That somehow made perfect sense. He’s an observer and he notices details. He remembers stories and can speak about cinema for hours. In fact, listening to him, I couldn’t help but think he’d make a terrific producer or director one day.
A few days ago, I saw him again. This time at his sister Anshula Kapoor’s wedding. The version of Arjun I had seen in Venice was exactly the version I saw there: making sure everyone around him was having a good time before he thought about himself.
When we eventually sat down for the interview, we spoke about films, failure, turning forty, therapy, perception and finding peace with yourself. But beneath all of it was the same quality I’d noticed in Venice—a man who’s become increasingly comfortable with who he is, without feeling the need to convince anyone else.
Your sister Anshula’s wedding was such a beautiful celebration. Now that it’s over, what emotions are you left with and what will stay with you the longest?
Now that the wedding is done, it’s finally sinking in. The emotions, the feelings, the whole experience… it all went by far too quickly. I think my first instinct was to stay busy. I wanted to make sure everything went well, that Anshula was happy, that Rohan’s [Thakkar] family felt looked after, that everybody involved had a good time. That’s just how I operate. Maybe it’s also my way of avoiding dealing with the emotions of the fact that my little sister was getting married.
Only now, when I sit back and think about it, I realise how happy I actually was. Somewhere, I knew Mom was watching. I felt she would’ve been proud of the woman Anshula has become and excited to see her begin this new journey. I genuinely felt her blessings were with all of us that day.
When I look back, I don’t remember one single moment more than another. What stays with me is the feeling. It was simply a celebration of love, family and togetherness. There was such beautiful energy in the room, and I know Mom would’ve loved seeing all of us like that.
What has it been like watching her journey towards marriage?
This is actually the first time I’m speaking about her marriage. I’m incredibly proud of her—not just because she’s gotten married, but because of everything she’s achieved over the last few years. She put herself out there, especially on social media, in the most honest and authentic way possible. People connected with that because they saw someone who wasn’t pretending to be perfect. I genuinely think that decision changed her life. For someone who had stayed inside her shell for a long time because of everything she’d been through, that was a huge shift. She’s a Columbia graduate. She studied abroad. But losing our mother affected both of us very differently. I escaped into work. I kept running because it meant I didn’t have to process my grief. She had to deal with it much earlier than I did. Sometimes I wonder whether I was around enough. I was always available, but I was also constantly working. Maybe she didn’t want to burden me because she loved me, so she carried a lot of that weight herself.
Ironically, I think that’s one of the reasons she’s thriving today. She dealt with things I postponed dealing with. When I look at her today, I see someone who shares the same values I try to live by. It reminds me that our parents raised us well.
What’s it been like not having Anshula around as much?
I thought I was prepared for this, but when it actually happened, it still took me time. I think it’s because I’m not married. When you have your own family, life naturally fills those spaces.
I’ve tried not to make it an emotional burden because this is exactly what I always wanted for her. Even when I miss her, I remind myself that this is where she’s meant to be. The funny thing is, I still rely on her for so many things.
After our mother passed away, I genuinely didn’t know how to run a home. When you’re trying to build a career, you need someone holding everything together behind the scenes. For me, that person was Anshula. She handled the documents, the society work, the staff, the errands, everything that allowed me to focus on work. I’m much better at those things now. We even have a house manager, which means I don’t have to call and trouble her every five minutes. But I still do. Even my Netflix password is with her because I can never remember it. When I wanted to watch the World Cup, she sorted the app out for me. She knows how many Air India miles I have, she’ll book my tickets, she’ll find ways to save money. They sound like tiny things, but that’s our relationship.
This is your fourteenth year in the industry. We all have two sides: the person people think of as Arjun Kapoor, and the actual person. What’s the biggest gap between perception and reality?
If by “people” you mean those who don’t know me personally—the ones who’ve only seen my work, social media, interviews or snippets, I think the biggest misconception is that I’m very serious or unapproachable. Whenever people meet me, they realise I’m actually quite funny and chilled out. Some people think I’m arrogant. Others think I’m just quiet. The labels may differ, but the perception is the same, that I’m not approachable. Ironically, if you actually get to know me, you’ll realise I’m quite the opposite.
Over the years I’ve consciously made an effort to smile more and greet people with a little more warmth. When you’re younger, you don’t realise those things matter. Experience teaches you that they do. That said, I’m not someone who feels the need to become everybody’s best friend. Fourteen years in this industry teach you that sometimes you should extend yourself a little more, and sometimes you don’t need to.
Is there something you’ve spent the last decade-and-a-half chasing that no longer feels as important?
Quantity over quality. I always wanted to be busy, but when you’re constantly chasing, you feel the need to grab every opportunity. Many decisions were simply based on having dates available. “Let’s do this. Let’s do that.” I spread myself too thin and forgot to give myself time to recover and heal.
You spent much of the last year investing in yourself and your wellbeing. What changes made the biggest difference?
The biggest change was learning to say no. You have to ask yourself whether it genuinely makes sense for you and whether it adds value to your life.
Initially, though, that freedom can become dangerous. Suddenly there’s no structure. You sleep and wake when you want, meetings revolve around your schedule, your trainer adjusts to you, and before you know it, convenience starts turning into complacency.
The first change I made was shifting my workouts to the morning. I’m naturally a late sleeper and an overthinker, but training first thing gave me accountability. The second was creating structure. Now I work out before diving into meetings, work and social plans, which helps me stay present instead of constantly rushing from one thing to the next. They’re all small habits, but together they’ve made a huge difference.
Therapy has become non-negotiable. I don’t miss it.
I spend time with my friends, with my sister and with myself. I’m no longer afraid of silence or of sitting alone with my thoughts. I’ve found enough structure in that silence that it no longer feels uncomfortable.
Another big change has been travelling purely for myself. Over the last year I travelled to Amsterdam with friends, travelled with my sister, visited Vienna, Venice, Goa, Alibaug, Vana in Dehradun, and London, and even stayed back after work trips like Hong Kong. None of it was planned with any grand intention. I simply found myself travelling more without work dictating the schedule. That was new for me. Earlier, I never took holidays. Two or three days felt like a luxury because I always thought, “How can I take time off? I have to work.” Now I can disappear for ten days if I want to.
How has your relationship with fitness changed in the last few years?
I’ve never lacked awareness or effort. The reality is simply that my body works differently. What someone else might achieve in three months could take me six. At some point I realised I had to stop measuring myself against those timelines and start enjoying the process instead. Earlier my thinking was always, “My film starts in three months, so I have to look my best by then.” That pressure changes your relationship with fitness. You stop enjoying it, and your body almost resists it.
Over the years I’ve lost fifty kilos, lost another twenty, become an actor, then found myself struggling with weight again because I wanted to look a certain way for the audience. That kind of pressure drains you mentally and physically. This year, fitness wasn’t about an agenda. It was simply for me, and that’s made all the difference.
Family and relationships have always been central to your life. You also come from a large family that’s been in the public eye and has gone through its own ups and downs. How has your understanding of family evolved over the years?
Growing up, films meant family and family meant films. As I got older, though, I realised the importance of building a life outside that world. Friends became family too. But my actual family has always remained my foundation. I was raised in what was essentially a joint family. My parents separated, but my mother made sure I remained deeply connected to my grandparents. All my cousins stayed close. Even today, we come together like any other family. At the same time, I wouldn’t say I had the most conventional upbringing. I lost my mother, and I didn’t get to spend as much time with my father as I would’ve liked. But I’ve always cherished what I did have.
Your family shapes your value system. The way I conduct myself on a film set comes from watching my father navigate difficult situations as a producer. The kindness I try to carry comes from my mother. She may not be here anymore, but I still represent her every single day. That’s what family means to me… It’s the values you carry forward.
Another recent addition to your family is Rafa. What has the pup brought into your life?
After our earlier dog, Max, passed away, I realised I still had so much love to give. I enjoy having someone around the house I can play with, fool around with and simply be childlike around. I never want to lose that part of myself. Coming home to Rafa genuinely de-stresses me. He also taught me responsibility in a very different way. I’ve always believed I’d make a good father, a good partner and a good family man. At that point in my life, I had all that love to give. And somehow Rafa found me.
You’re a genuine film buff who grew up surrounded by cinema. As an actor, what excites you creatively today that perhaps didn’t excite you ten years ago?
As an actor or creator, you’re being asked to take risks in a market that’s increasingly risk-averse. You have to be braver than ever, but fewer people are willing to take those chances. There’s something exciting about that uncertainty. You genuinely don’t know what’s going to work anymore. That sounds terrifying, but it also creates space for creativity to come to the forefront, especially now that technology has become so much more accessible. I genuinely believe something exciting will emerge from this phase.
You turned forty last year. What surprised you most?
Honestly, how much pressure I’d attached to the number. Then I turned forty... and it disappeared. Nothing really changed.
When you’re younger, you create milestones for yourself—by this age I’ll be here, by that age I’ll have done this. But life keeps moving those goalposts. The last year gave me something I’d been missing for a long time: time. Time to work on myself. Time to become happier with where I am. Time to feel proud of what I’ve built over the last fourteen years. Turning forty made me realise it’s far more important to look ahead than to keep looking back. By this age, you should leave some baggage behind. You’ve learnt enough.
Credits
Chairperson: Avarna Jain
CEO: Debashish Ghosh
Editor and Words by: Rahul Gangwani
Fashion Director: Vijendra Bhardwaj
Photography: Antonio Giancaspro
Styling: Komal Shetty
HMU: Sara Bergaglio
Location: Hilton Molino Stucky Venice
Cover Design: Azad Mohan
Bookings Editor: Varun Shah
Editorial Mentor: Saira Menezes
Managing Editor: Sonal Nerurkar
Deputy Editor: Mayukh Majumdar
Digital Editor: Saurav Bhanot
Features Editor: Nitin Sreedhar
Head of Copy Desk: Prannay Pathak
Senior Features Writer: Jeena J Billimoria
Digital Writers: Aditi Tarafdar, Arshita Suri, Rudra Mulmule
Senior Social Media Executive: Riti Ghai
Social Media Executive: Kashish Mishra
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