Is Your Girlfriend Just A Distraction For You?

If someone so much as glances at their phone mid-conversation, they’re judged. There’s nothing I find more exasperating than sitting across from someone, only for their attention to dissolve into the little blue glow of a screen. But imagine it happening to you while on a video calls, too. Phubbing is everywhere.

While one may be engaged in describing something exciting, the other half of the conversation is somewhere between Instagram stories and Twitter threads.

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Gone are the days when the manual on social etiquette noted that phones be off the dinning table, that when someone is talking to you, you put your phone down and pay attention to the person interacting with you. As if the precedence has been taken over by the altered reality on our palm-sized screens, along with our attention spans, the manual has take a toss for the worse.

These days, the casual scroll, the unconscious double-tap, the "just checking one message" have become ritualised. Phubbing, as they call it, is a portmanteau of "phone" and "snubbing" can be one of the reasons for your girlfriend becoming the distraction rather than your phone.

Very telling of a behavioural pattern observed amongst phone addicts, phubbing that is unintentionally snubbing someone in favour of your phone may be one of the reasons why you may be losing that "spark" with your partner. According to a research article by Namratha. S and Arulchelvan S, "persistent phubbing weakens partner communication, bonding behaviours and relationship satisfaction."

And it doesn’t stop there. Mental health suffers too. Anxiety, loneliness, and even depression can emerge from this constant dance with devices.

Phubbing can make it impossible to experience raw, vulnerable moments with loved ones, leaving relationships hollowed out, despite the illusion of constant connectivity.

So, how can you know if it’s happening in your life? Are you the perpetrator, or the victim? Look for the signs: a partner who always has their phone in hand, frequent "hold on" interruptions, an over-reliance on text or social media for communication, or defensiveness when phone usage is questioned. These subtle cues reveal a quiet prioritisation of the digital over the real.

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The lure of endless scrolling is strong, but nothing can replace a laugh, a story, or a quiet moment shared in real life. So maybe it’s time to ask yourself: is your girlfriend or your friend, or your family member truly the distraction, or is it your screen?

While a phone can keep us informed, entertained, and "connected," only a person can make us feel seen. And in a world where attention is currency, giving it fully is, perhaps, the most stylish move of all.